Reviewer:
maireaine@hexatron.com (Mary
Anne Cohen) from Whippany, NJ
Joyce Maguire Pavao has been a
familiar speaker at adoption reform and
adoptive parent conferences for many
years. Her wisdom, gentleness, and skill
as a master story teller have enlightened
many through the spoken word. It is a
real joy to finally have her work in
writing.
Emily Dickinson said "tell the
truth, but tell it slant". That is
exactly what Dr. Pavao does in her
stories and anecdotes of adoptees and
adoptive families in therapy, and in her
pioneering work in open adoption. Rather
than boring us all with theory, she lets
the lives of her clients speak for
themselves, and teach many lessons about
the value of openness and honesty in
adoption, and the healing power of truth
and love.
This is a book that is easy to read--I
read it through in a few hours--but one
you will come back to again and again if
you work with members of the adoption
triad, or are yourself a person affected
by adoption. As an adoptee herself, and a
long-time activist for adoption reform,
Dr. Pavao brings a special empathy to her
work with adopted children and families,
and with adult triad members. Unlike a
previous reviewer here, I would take Dr.
Pavao's writing over the pompous, empty
platitudes of David ("I Am The
Walrus")Brodzinski any day! --This
text refers to the Hardcover
edition
5 of 5
people found the following review
helpful:
a thorough primer on the
emotional realities of adoption, June
3, 1999
Reviewer:
A reader from Malden, MA
USA
Pioneering therapist Joyce Maguire
Pavao's book should be read by all
persons or pairs who wish to adopt. It
examines the perspectives of all adoption
triad members: birth parents, adoptive
parents, and adopted individuals. It
contends that adoption is about finding
families for children, not the other way
round. The founder and director of the
Center for Family Connections
(Cambridge/New York), Dr. Pavao says she
employs case studies because they pack
emotional wallop and yet instruct. This
is certainly the case. Within the first
30 pages, opportunities for tears abound
- and so do clear descriptions of the
hearts and minds of participants in the
adoption process. With 20 years'
experience as a provider who 'gets it'
and a lifetime as an adopted person, Dr.
Pavao has certainly earned the right to
write on adoption (as few others have),
and her language is intensely felt. The
Open Door Society's ODS News calls this
work "truly the most insightful and
healing book on the adoption shelf."
For anyone who offers professional
services to a member of the triad, this
book is a necessity. Dr. Pavao's
inclusive, accessible style of writing
makes The Family of Adoption especially
successful. New England's Adoptive
Families Together, Inc. (member of
Adoptive Families of America and winner
of a 1999 North American Council on
Adoptable Children/NACAC award as
Outstanding Parent Group) acquired copies
for each of its support groups' libraries
- I know, since I facilitate one such
group! I'll say it once more: For anyone
who offers professional services to a
member of the triad, this book is a
necessity. --
adoption
.
Easily Assimilated
Adoption Wisdom, June 30, 1999